a baby shower

Still working backwards...

Before we left for the States, Joey helped me host a baby shower for our dear friend, N.  He did almost all of the cooking: mini frittatas, cheesy scones, deviled eggs, mini crab cakes, cucumber sandwiches, homemade pimento sandwiches, and corned beef and pickle sandwiches!  He also helped me bake the red velvet cupcakes, lemon bars and cherry cheesecake brownies in under 4 hours (something that would take me alone over 6).

N and her husband, B., recently welcomed their new, beautiful baby girl, whom we cannot wait to meet when they with her return to post in a few months.  I had a lot of fun decorating the house, although I still haven't figured out how to get the double-stick tape off the 12-foot ceilings...

why you shouldn't put meat in your suitcase

When traveling back and forth from Nigeria, my friend L describes us as gypsies.  We usually pack at least one large empty suitcase to fill with food from home; this time we checked a 70-lb suitcase full of food and three 25-lb boxes full of frozen meat.  A few days before we left Des Moines, my mom took Joey and me to Costco (thanks for the access, Mom), and we spent almost $500 on beef, chicken sausages (you know the kind, with the gouda in the middle), and cheese.  Then we spent the rest of the afternoon in an assembly line with Mom's vacuum sealer and the meat, before stuffing it in my parents' extra freezer.  About an hour before we left for the airport and our long flight back to Abuja, Joey and my dad filled three large, cardboard and styrofoam coolers with our frozen bounty and we all crossed our fingers.

Fast-forward 27 hours, and I'm standing in the midst of the chaos that is the luggage conveyor belt in the Abuja airport.  As I watch the same bags go round and round the feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I wait for my checked bags sinks deeper and deeper - then one of the airport workers looks at me and tells me to talk to customer service (he probably singled me out by my shirt).  Sure enough, our worst fears are confirmed: all of our luggage, including 75 lbs of now less-than-frozen meat, is still in Amsterdam, and the next flight to Abuja isn't for 2 days.

Believe it or not, when our luggage arrived two days later, two of the three boxes were still cold.  The third box was room temperature and you'd better believe we we're still eating the chicken sausages, cheese and bacon that were in there.  My large, pink suitcase didn't fare quite so well - it was delivered with a huge crack in the hard shell - and Joey's didn't come at all (we got it the next day) - but we got our meat and 15,000 extra miles from Delta - what more could you want?  

home

Our trip home was insane.  We literally had engagements breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day for two weeks, some days with coffee in between and drinks after (yes, I had an excel spreadsheet).  Add to that shopping trips to Costco, Target, the grocery store and the mall; two graduations (my little sister graduated college and Joey's little brother graduated high school - congratulations Lizz and David!); daily yoga classes for me and visits to Spartan Strength to get his ass kicked for Joey; and shuffling one car between three people (my mother was gracious enough to share hers with us) and by the end of the trip we were both absolutely exhausted.  Dare I say it - we almost looked forward to the long flight back to Abuja for an opportunity to do absolutely nothing for 24 hours (the upgraged business class tickets probably didn't hurt).  Nonetheless, it was incredible to have two full weeks together in Des Moines, awesomely fattening and delicious to savor two weeks of meals we can't cook in Abuja; reconnecting with all of our friends and family, even if only for a few hours, food for the soul.

With Joey, his brothers and my sister-in-law at David's graduation.  Sadly I didn't take any pictures at all this trip home, luckily my mother-in-law got one!

congratulations, bill and janice!

Back in May we headed to the US for a wedding, a graduation and a whole lot of eating in between.  First we stopped in St. Paul, Minnesota, where Joey's friend from college (I claim him as my friend sometimes too), Bill, married his lovely bride, Janice.  We were honored to be a part of their special day.

The whole weekend was really lovely - we were granted to perfect weather while Joey took care of groomsman duties, including buying a new suit and having it tailored in two days, and I took care of myself, with hot yoga classes at Corepower Yoga, early-morning runs - alone! - and a significant amount of time at the Aveda spa.  We also got to eat Juicy Lucy's (two burger patties with melted cheese oozing from the middle), sushi, and a decadent brunch at Bill's mom's the morning after the wedding.  Then we were off to the airport for a quick flight to Des Moines.

fourth of july

 In photos:

Unfortunately I didn't get my camera out until it started to rain (in case you were worried about my past history with cameras and rain, rest assured - I bought a waterproof one).

We don't get a lot of opportunities to get dressed up and go out in Abuja, so I really enjoyed the chance to wear my new dress and bright lipstick.  Joey even matched his tie to my dress.  Aren't we cute?

a note on med clearances

Remember this post?

I do.  I remember how stressed we both were that I'd get Class 2 Medical Clearance and Joey'd be posted somewhere I couldn't go.  How we fought to convince the doctor that I was cured of my depression and how relieved we were when I got my Class 1 Clearance.

What I wish I'd known then that I do now -

1.  Even though I told the psychiatrist evaluating my mental health that I'd learned how to manage my depression with running and yoga, she did not pass that information on to Joey's CDO (career development officer).  While I appreciate the respect of my privacy (and HIPAA), we were posted somewhere impossible to run long distances (and never by myself) or follow a regular yoga practice because his CDO didn't have all the information.  While we discussed with his CDO our desire to have children while at our first post, the CDO didn't know the only anti-malarial safe for pregnancy exacerbates depression and that the medical officer I spoke to upon receipt of our posting strongly advised me to wait to get pregnant until we left Abuja.

2.  Just because you don't feel depressed in Des Moines or Washington, DC, does not mean you won't feel depressed in Abuja, Nigeria.  And the stressors that you faced in DC and managed with running and yoga will be exponentially compounded by hardship when you leave the U.S.  The people evaluating medical clearances take this into account and if you have to convince them you're ok, you should consider "worldwide availability" and if you'll really be okay no matter where you go.

If you already have low-level anxiety and depression, imagine how you might feel after an explosion at a place you've shopped many times (http://saharareporters.com/news-page/exploion-rocks-abuja-shopping-center), or an explosion outside a new bar you were so excited to discover had Miller Light (http://www.thenationonlineng.net/2011/index.php/news-update/51337-explosion-rocks-abuja-nightclub.html), or an explosion near your friend's house (http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/04/26/us-nigeria-bomb-idUSBRE83P0NR20120426), or a siege during a layover (http://af.reuters.com/article/topNews/idAFJOE80T00P20120130) of which you can see the fire from the airplane, or a bomb in a church on Christmas Day (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2078450/Bombs-kill-32-Catholic-churches-Christmas-Day-mass-series-explosions-rock-Nigeria.html), or a bomb near the Embassy (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-14677957), or an explosion at a market the night after you've eaten dinner there (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12099176).  It takes going to a crowded supermarket from routine to utterly terrifying.  


3.  An officer's posting is based on the medical clearances of all of his family members, not just the officer's.  We recently learned that despite what we'd heard otherwise, the department does not direct (*just a reminder - this is not official*) officers whose family members have lower medical clearances to places where those family members cannot accompany the officer (remember, AIP (Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan) assignments are never directed) for medical reasons (think about it - they can't - it would be discriminatory and illegal and probably against many federal EEO and ADA statutes).


Thankfully the new nurse practitioner here is really great and has been a tremendous help to me ever since my near-panic attack in the grocery store last week.  Not to mention we only have a little more than 20 weeks at post, and I'll be out of the country for over half of them.  My longest remaining stretch in Nigeria is only four weeks, and it's not til November.  I can handle that, especially after almost four weeks of finding my zen in Thailand in October and with the bright light at the end of the tunnel on December 1.  As my friend, K., told me when I first got to Abuja, "If you can handle this place, you can handle anything."  

so proud of my hubby

I can't help it - a girl's gotta brag.  I'm married to an incredible man.  Not only is he an amazing husband who is patient beyond measure, supportive, dedicated, loving, loyal, giving, kind, funny, smart and a great cook, Joey is also an amazing GSO.  Earlier this year he received a Superior Honor Award for his work in Abuja, but this morning he received even greater recognition as runner-up for GSO of the Year, second only to an officer in Kabul, Afghanistan (not in any way diminishing the work of the hundreds of GSOs all over the world).  

I've personally witnessed how diligently, tenaciously and tirelessly Joey's worked here in Abuja, and it's nice to know some other people noticed too.  (Even if his CDO (career development officer) didn't.  When she denied his request to extend in Abuja she told him, "we are confident any other first-tour officer will be able to do the same."  How confident are you now?  Way to make your employees feel valued.  Okay maybe my juvenile retort isn't necessary but I still remember how disheartened he was by her response.)  So anyway, I'm just damn proud of him.  Abuja may be lucky to have Joey on their side for two years, but I'm even luckier - I get him the rest of my life.

Okay now you have permission to gag just a little.