Yesterday on my run around the mall, I ran by several people setting up for a large walk-a-thon to "Help the Homeless." Guess who was the sponsor?  Fannie Mae.  A little ironic, don't you think?  They must be feeling a little guilty about all the people they put out of their homes...

Yesterday Joey and I also bought a car.  We ended up going with a 2004 white, Toyota Sequoia.  While test driving the car, Joey took a wrong turn and we got lost (dealer in tow) in rush hour traffic in Virginia.  About an hour later, the dealer requested we stop the car at the nearest gas station so he could go inside and get his bearings.  At the gas station the dealer got out of the car and Joey and I burst into giggles.  An hour later we were finally back at the dealership and another hour later we had signed the papers.  It was a long night, but now that's one less thing on the to-do list.  Joey is currently on the phone with the bank coordinating everything to take it out of the country - we will never actually take possession of the car in the US.  Someone from State will go to the dealer, pick up the car and drive it to the port.  We'll meet it in Nigeria.
--- We just learned that is false.  I guess we can't have it shipped without the title and it is going to take several weeks to get the title from Virginia.  So now we have to get the car, sell my car (God forbid we juggle two cars in this town again), ship the car as soon as we get the title (to minimize our time in Nigeria without a car), and then figure out how to get the dogs and ourselves around town gathering all of our consumables for two years without a car.  UGH. Why does everything have to be so difficult?  Such a process?!  Can't one thing go smoothly?  Once?  Stupid freaking cars. 

Today we attended a diplomatic protocol and etiquette class.  It was really interesting and at times, entertaining.  Our etiquette instructor was a petite, Latin version of Miss Manners and she was quite appalled with everyone's faux pas. But we did glean quite a bit of useful information today, like how to seat a dinner party, the difference between Continental and American styles of handling your silverware, and how to make introductions.  Our instructor traveled with her husband, who was in the foreign service, for 28 years, and she had quite a few stories to tell.  My favorite was how three or four times a week her husband's secretary would call her and say "your husband is bringing home six guests for lunch."  And she would prepare a three course meal.  Except for the one time that she cooked a chicken and her husband whispered to her as her guests arrived that 6 of the 8 were vegetarian.  She said she wanted to ring his neck right there. Hello?!  What is wrong with this picture?!  You got mad because you cooked a chicken and your husband didn't tell you your guests were vegetarian?  I'm sorry but if Joey had his secretary call me to tell me that he was bringing home six guests for lunch I would tell his secretary to tell him to jump off a cliff.  (Actually I'm pretty sure a certain four letter word would be used instead).  I don't give a damn whether your guests eat meat or beans or freaking pistachios because they aren't coming to my house for lunch on two hour's notice.  Ha!  Can you imagine?!

They gave us a little card when we left.  It read:

When you take your seat
Or excuse yourself at Thanksgiving Dinner
Remember to:
Enter and Exit your chair from the Right.
Leave your napkin on your chair if
You are returning for Seconds.
Pass the Turkey Platter to the Right.
Your dinner roll is to your Left.
If someone tries to beat you to the 
Last piece of Pumpkin Pie,
It's a JAB with the LEFT,
and HOOK with the RIGHT.

Happy Thanksgiving