lauren!

I figured before I posted about our insane weekend in NYC I should put up my stuff from the weekend before.  Lauren was so nice to come visit us and take our minds off the omnipresent craziness of our international move.   The weekend was a bit of a whirlwind, but we really enjoyed the company.  Lauren had been to DC before and let me take her to some less mainstream places I'd been wanting to visit.  And, since Lauren is a frequent traveler too, she even introduced me to a bar I wish I'd found before, because I know both my sisters would have loved it.

Friday night after a scrumptious dinner at Ray's Hell Burger (its sister restaurant, or maybe I should say brother, Ray's the Steaks, is a really swanky restaurant in town.  They take all the unused tenderloin and ground it into burgers.  Yum.), Lauren and I dropped Joey off (it was past his bedtime) and headed to the W Hotel right next to the White House.

Leaving the bar Friday night

She'd read about the bar on the roof, called POV, and its fabulous view of the White House and the Washington Monument.  Sure enough, we were not disappointed.  We even managed to find a table!  In addition to the fabulous conversation we were also entertained by a fight between several male patrons.  Lauren and I were more appalled by their throwing around $15 drinks than punches.

Saturday we went over to President Woodrow Wilson's house and took a very thorough tour.  The docent was very nice and exceptionally informed.  President Wilson's second wife, Edith, maintained almost everything original from the house, so it was really neat to see.  I especially loved the old, concert grand Steinway piano - I wish I'd played in the last few years so I could have played something on that when the docent asked.

After the Woodrow Wilson house we headed over to the Society of the Cincinnati Anderson House.  It was built in 1905 for something absurd like $7 million dollars and wow, was it incredible.  Before our tour we were lucky enough to stumble upon a free concert in the grand hall of the home; a famous Army opera singer (who earned Joey's respect upon reading in the program that he'd sung at Ronald Reagan's funeral) accompanied by a very talented pianist regaled us with Italian love songs and "Oh, Holy Night."

Just gorgeous - Joey said he thought it was prettier than the Sistene Chapel.

The fabulous stairwell with custom-made tapestry by Dega.

French drawing room - the English drawing room had the same beautiful gilt.

This is where the concert took place.  These pictures don't even being to do the Anderson House justice.

Saturday night we headed over to the Spy Museum for their "Spy at Night" interactive spy experience, which though exceptionally hokey, was pretty fun too.  Then we headed over to Potenza for a fabulous Italian dinner.  Sunday was pretty low-key, with a delicious lunch at 2 Amys' Pizza and just some driving around town, checking out the sites but staying warm in the car at the same time.  We'd planned to visit the Portrait Gallery but made the unfortunate assumption that we'd be able to find a parking space.  By the time we drove around the block four times and decided the closest parking spot would be at home, it was too late to drive home, walk to the gallery, peruse the collection, walk home and get Lauren to the airport in time.  We actually found a parking spot as soon as we got to the Portrait Gallery; there were about fifty cars, all parked in the back-in, angle parking and there was spot open.  Sweet!  So we backed the car in and right as Joey went to shut off the ignition a man came over to the car.  He pointed to the sign which said in the most confusing manner that back-in, angle parking ended at 2 pm only on Sundays and said if we found a different parking spot we'd be fifty dollars richer.  He said he comes down every Sunday at 1:45 to try and help people out.  Sure enough, as we drove around the block looking for a space to parallel park the car, we saw the meter maid back-in, angle park her car and then proceed to ticket every car parked the same way.  Nice.

i'm considering changing the title of my blog

to "FML Moments."  I thought I'd share one from today. 

Our suitcase collection needed some updating.  It consisted of several carry-on approved size suitcases (about 20"); one ten year-old, regular size suitcase that begs to be thrown away, as it has been all over Europe and the Western Hemisphere several times and looks that way, with its now gaping hole in the corner; and one gigantic, human-sized suitcase.  So today I took it upon myself to visit several stores to find some sturdy, functional luggage at a minimal price to safely transport many of our belongings to Abuja.  I ended up purchasing four suitcases at Marshall's, which my husband hasn't even seen but has already informed me two of which are considered oversized.  I bought a pink set of three: 28", 25", and 20", as well as another 28" in black.  So who knows the big black one will probably have to go back (I thought I was replacing the regular-sized one), but that's not even the point of my story.  Just a tertiary FML.  Anyway, I nested together the set of three suitcases and put them in the back of my car. 

So on Sunday night, after dropping Lauren off at the airport, Joey and I made another trip to Costco.  Our cart was so full and so heavy it took both of us to move it, and at least fifteen minutes to load into the trunk and back seat of our car.  Sunday was also the first day of some rather pleasant weather we've been having here.  Apparently the average in DC in December is 50 degrees, but lucky for us, the temperature is hovering around 35, with a wind chill of 25.  So after freezing our asses off in the parking lot of Costco, Joey and I were loathe to do it again in our little parking lot (not to mention the dogs were howling and its a pain to shuffle everything back and forth).  We decided to at least unload the back of the car, as our alley can get a little shady in the dark and we didn't want to provide any incentive to break in (not that three gallon bins of olive oil and cans of diced tomatoes incite me to break in cars but you never know).  So we left the trunk full of food. 

I had this brilliant idea that I would take the food and put it in the new suitcase.  In the parking lot of Marshall's.  Which was full of holiday traffic...Turns out not all of the food in the trunk fit in the suitcase (duh).  And so then the suitcase wouldn't fit in the trunk.  Which meant it had to go in the front seat.  Now you know how the doors on two-door cars swing pretty heavily?  So I'm trying to avoid dinging the car next to mine which means I can't open the door too far.  And now I've loaded this 28" suitcase full of jars of roasted red peppers, kalamata olives, honey, artichokes, as well as 7 - 2.5 lb bags of coffee beans and 2 - 6 lb bags of chocolate chips.  And its freaking heavy.  I can barely pick the thing up off the ground to roll over to the door and then lifting it into my car?  Not happening.  So I roll the suitcase back to the trunk where I unload half of it.  I figured taking out the 27 pounds of coffee and chocolate would make it light enough to pick up.  Nope.  Defeated, I unload the entire suitcase back into my trunk, pick up the suitcase, put it in my front seat, and drive home. FML.

i'm losing my mind

Truly, I am losing my mind.  I locked myself out today.  Again.  I locked myself out last Monday too.  You would think that after sitting outside for an hour with George last Monday and having to fork over $127, I'd be a little more careful next time.  Well I was, for exactly one week.

This morning, as soon as George and I stepped into the foyer and I heard the lock click behind me, I realized I had locked myself out again.  Last time I spent about 20 minutes trying to pick the lock.  I used the little wire connecting George's dog tag to his collar and was so miserably unsuccessful I broke the wire in the lock.  So seeing as I no longer had any device with which to even attempt to pick the lock, this time I tried sticking his leash under the door to trip the lock (seriously suburban white girl - why the hell would I have any idea how to break into things), also miserably unsuccessful.  I still waited like 45 minutes before venturing out for help because I knew it was going to cost so much.

So the phone books were delivered two weeks ago and both our neighbor upstairs and Joey and I have neglected to bring them off the front stoop as they are pretty obsolete nowadays.  Thank God for that.  I grabbed one of the soggy phone books and found an ad for a locksmith.  Then George and I walked down to the neighborhood doggy daycare, and asked to use the phone.

About 45 minutes later the shady looking locksmith pulled up in his old, faded, pale yellow Lincoln with the royal blue "Prestige Transportation" letters peeling off the sides.  He was number 904, which I noted because I was pretty much convinced this dude was going to rape me and I wanted to be able to tell the police.  So the six-feet tall man got out of the car in his baggy, black cargo sweatpants and baggy hooded sweatshirt.  He pulled a black stocking cap over his shaved head and stood at the foot of the stairs to my house.  Great.  He took one look at the lock and told me in his Middle Eastern accent its going to be $160.  I told him that I didn't have that much and that I would just call someone else.  Just because I'm freezing my ass off and this is the second time in two weeks that I've been locked out doesn't mean I'm going to be taken for a ride.

He said, "She (referring to the dispatcher I spoke with on the phone) told you about the service fee, right?"

Me (who by the way just rolled out of bed and is therefore wearing her pajama pants, which were thankfully black sweatpants, but because who seriously wears underwear to bed, my ass was eating my pants; my pajama shirt, under which I am obviously not wearing a bra; my black Northface jacket; and my black fuzzy slippers): "What service fee?"

Locksmith disguised as hoodlum: "Well there's a thirty dollar service fee just for coming out here."
 
Me: "Fine.  Send me a bill for the service fee and I'll find someone else to open the door."  (Duh I'm not going to pay that bill.)

"No, we can't do that.  You have to pay today"

Look dude, I don't have my freaking bra, let alone my phone - you think I'm just going to magically pull my cash or credit card out of my ass to pay you?  Guess what, you can tell me whatever you want but if I walk away and you continue to pick the lock I'm pretty sure you'll get arrested.  Obviously I don't say this and reply, "I got locked out last week.  He only charged me $120.  Your ad says you will beat any price" and I triumphantly pull it out of my pocket.  Thank God again for obsolete phone books.

He calls his dispatcher and tells her that I will not pay $160.  She tells him to charge $140 plus the service fee.

"That is still $160.  I don't have that."

So he tells his dispatcher again, "She won't pay that."  So the dispatcher tells him to charge me $120 plus the service fee.  I again refer to their ad, which says they will beat any price.  Finally it is agreed that I will pay $120, and the locksmith went back to his car to get his tools.  He comes back with two pieces that look like blood pressure sleeves and some screwdrivers.  After a few minutes of pounding, he announces that he may have to drill it, and returns to his car to get another box of tools.

He picked and picked for another twenty minutes, informing me several times that I have a good lock.  Then he said he'd have to drill it.  I told him that I was not willing to let the door be drilled and he said it'd just be the lock he'd have to drill.  I asked him what I'd have to do to fix that and he said buy a new lock, which according to him, a good one like mine would cost another $170 to replace.  I began mentally gearing up for the inevitable argument that I would not let him drill the lock, and I would not pay him for a lock he couldn't pick without a drill and to begin the run around about the service fee when finally, the door popped open. 

He stepped back, because thankfully, when he first arrived the dogs went crazy.  Obviously all of the pounding and banging of the door and the lock sent Moe running for cover, but luckily for me the locksmith doesn't know the big dog barking inside is chicken shit.  So the locksmith went to his car while I grabbed my keys and wallet.  He tried to convince me over and over again to just pay him cash and something about that just made me nervous.  Plus I don't carry $5 cash, let alone $120, and I really didn't want to walk the block and a half to the ATM.  I told him that I could go get cash, but that my bank has a $100 limit on ATMs, so I could either pay him $100 cash or he could charge my card $120.  He then suggested charging my card $20 and me getting the cash.  After some back and forth he finally agreed to charge my card for the full amount, but then while using a pen to imprint the card, he asked if there was any way I could pay him a little more in cash.

So anyway, here I am two hours later and another $120 poorer.  I have plenty of stories from the weekend as my friend Lauren graced us with her presence, but those are for another post, another day.  Right now I am vacillating between a run and a very large glass of bourbon.

Recently

George was so happy to see his play buddy!

Joey and Lizz working on Thanksgiving dinner

We had a great visit with Lizzie.  George was so excited to see her.  I thoroughly exhausted her, with visits to as many sites in DC as there was time, including Arlington National Cemetery, the Iwo Jima Memorial, Smith- sonian Castle, Freer Gallery, Hirshorn Sculpture Garden and Adams Morgan for Ethiopian food (its growing on me) on Wednesday.  We covered all of the monuments and memorials on Thursday, as well as a trip to the Holocaust Museum.  Plus Joey made a delicious, huge, food-coma inducing Thanksgiving dinner.  Friday we started at 8 am with a tour of the Capitol, followed by a tour of the Library of Congress, over to Union Station, lunch in Chinatown followed by a visit to the Archives and the Smithsonian American History Museum, and a walk by the White House on the way home.  Then we went out for dinner and drinks, culminating with a 1:30am visit to Ben's Chili Bowl.  Saturday morning it was up early to the Eastern Market then over to Georgetown (including Joey's first time to a Dean and Deluca).  I think by the time noon hit and we left to take Lizz to Baltimore for her flight she was completely worn out, as she was asleep within minutes of getting in the car.

Thanksgiving appetizers

The delicious turkey

Saturday night Joey took me to a romantic dinner at the very fabulous Marcel's restaurant.  Then we were off to the Kennedy Center for the Nutcracker Ballet, which was just wonderful.  I love getting all dressed up and watching the ballerinas twirl so gracefully.  It was the perfect way to celebrate the sixth anniversary of our first date!  Crazy how time flies!

We made our first trip to Costco last night.  The final consumables spreadsheet contains 220 items, and I spent two hours yesterday afternoon estimating our monthly usage for each and every one of those items and multiplying by 23.  Three hours and $800 later, we'd filled our cart, which is about as much as fits in the back of my car.  Sadly, we believe this is probably the first of four or five trips.  We are hoping that since yesterday's purchase was almost entirely toiletries it will be the most expensive.  Razors (I wish I could use the cheap, disposable variety but I am Italian and that means a lot of thick, coarse hair.  This, coupled with moving to Africa where it is always hot means I am going to have to shave my legs a lot more often than I like.), eye cream and and toothbrush heads were among the priciest items.  We also bought a mattress topper (a little leary of the government issue mattresses) and new pillows. 

We also spent almost an hour at the car dealership again yesterday.   Thanks to many helpful comments on my blog, we avoided paying sales tax and seem to have a title or something like that, but as the manager of the dealership said, out of every thousand cars they sell, less than one is a diplomatic sale, and since most car dealers only last six to eight months, most have never completed this type of transaction, hence the time. 

Rabies shot #3 this morning.  Oh how I love getting shots.  And vaccinations for that matter.

And on a final note (let me warn my male readers that you may not want to continue), I belong to a Yahoo discussion board for Foreign Service members and their families.  I don't normally participate in the discussions, but every morning I get a digest of the conversations that took place the day before.  This morning i cam across a recommendation for this lovely little device: http://www.rei.com/product/407267 and all I have to say is I wish I had found this sooner!  It is going to come in very handy (no pun intended) in Nigeria.

Things for which I am Thankful

Since Lizzie is coming tomorrow (I am very thankful to have a family member here for Thanksgiving), I don't plan on blogging in the next few days.  And since Thanksgiving falls within the next few days, I figured now would be a good time to write down all of the things for which I am thankful.

First and foremost I am thankful for my amazing husband.  In addition to being incredibly handsome, intelligent, and driven, he is caring and generous and loving.  I am so proud of him for all that he has accomplished, from the foreign service to his master's degree to all the different roles he juggled while we lived in Des Moines.  I am so lucky that my husband is my best friend and thankful not only for him but for all of his support in everything I have ever wanted to do.

I am thankful for my babies - my dogs.  They make me laugh all day long and even though they are certainly challenging, I love them so much!  Each one has such a unique personality - some days I really find it hard to accomplish much else besides hang out with my boys - and I'm so thankful I have that opportunity.

I am thankful for my family.  Its hard being so far apart now, and although its going to be much harder when we're so many more miles and time zones apart in a few short weeks, I am so thankful to know how much you love and support me and my husband despite how crazy you may find his career choice.  I am especially thankful for the ten days I get to spend with you before we head to Africa.  I'm really looking forward to baking cookies and decorating the Christmas tree and making pasta together. 

I'm so thankful for my great friends.  From my oldest friends to my newest, you all bring such fun and perspective to my life.  So many of my different experiences have been shaped by my friendships at the time, and I am thankful for each and every one of you.

I am also very thankful for the opportunities that life in the Foreign Service has provided us.  I definitely haven't kept my thoughts to myself about certain aspects of this life that drive me crazy, but despite its challenges, I am really thankful to be in this position.  I am thankful for the opportunity to live and experience "big city life" in DC and I am thankful for the adventure on which Joey and I are about to embark.  Nigeria may not have been more first pick, but hey! We are young and get to go live a pretty nice life in a really neat place that not very many people ever have the opportunity to even visit, let alone experience.  We will have friends all over the globe who we can visit, and someday our kids are going to have the opportunity to grow up not just as citizens of the US, but citizens of the world!  I feel very fortunate to be accompanying Joey on this journey.

I am also thankful for all the helpful comments on my blog!  This is great - I air my grievances and frustration and voila! I have answers. You guys have saved Joey and me a ton of headaches and I just hope someday to be able to pay it forward.

I think one of the best things about Thanksgiving is that I notice all of the little things for which I am thankful too - like the most beautiful fall I have ever seen here in DC, dark chocolate ice cream, and the twinkling of the Christmas lights that are starting to go up around town.  I just finished a book about a man who left Microsoft and founded a charity that builds schools and libraries in developing countries - I am so thankful I grew up in America with access to great schools and great books and parents who encouraged me to read.  I'm thankful for the amazing yoga class I took this morning.  I am thankful for the people at Whole Foods who made shopping so easy by putting everything I need on the ends of the aisles and hiring extra people to help bag my turkey, unload my cart and help me park my car.  I am thankful for so much.  I am a lucky girl.

So Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!  Joey, Lizzie and I will miss you all but we look forward to seeing you at Christmas.  Love you!



On an entirely different note, we got some pictures of our housing compound.  They are considered sensitive, which means I can't put them on my blog, but if you want to see them I can email them to you.  Just let me know.  Also, Mom told me we are having Christmas at our house this year, so I can show them to you then too.

I can't think of a title

We bought our TV and DVD player today.  Not as if 1080p and all the other crap that goes along with buying a TV isn't confusing enough - let's add in that it must be a multi-region TV that will accept the signals in Africa (I have NO clue how this works but I am told that a regular old $500 TV purchased in the United States will not play in Africa).  We also had to buy a multi-region DVD player which costs a heck of a lot more than a regular DVD player, but when in Rome....(or Nigeria).

I was also told today that I use way too many commas in my writing.  My dear mother told me my grammatical skills are lacking and my husband told me I write like I talk - with way too many run-on sentences.  To them I say this is a blog, not a term paper.  GFY.

In addition to these purchases, we also have to buy transformers, converters, adapters, power continuation devices - apparently all in all this is going to cost another $600-$700.  What a crock of shit.  Oh, hey, you're moving to Africa, and if you want any of your electronic devices to work while you're there, you have to buy these transformers - on your own dime.  Not that the State Dept. doesn't pay for quite a bit of stuff to make our lives easier in Abuja, but as far as I'm concerned, three transformers for a whole house of electronic devices is beyond insufficient.  I mean just off the top of my head how many things do we own that need to be plugged in: coffee maker, toaster, vacuum, blow-dryer, toothbrush charger, phone chargers (2), computer, TV, DVD player, water boiler, alarm clock - and that's not all-inclusive.  So the three transformers provided by the State Dept are really going to go far.  So we have to buy more of those and we have to buy this power continuation device for all of the times when our power goes out and switches to our generator (which is thankfully provided but you'd think that since its so common for this to happen and it apparently ruins your electronics, they would provide this power continuation thingy) and we have to buy enough of these things to cover all of our electronic things and all of these things and things to keep our things nice are starting to cost a lot of freaking money!  I just really think that since they're sending us to live in Africa for two years it would be nice to equip us with everything we need to live there.  Thank God we saved money before we started this job, because if we hadn't, I really don't think a pay advance would be enough to cover all these little incidental expenses that are adding up to be quite a lot of money.  I mean its not like we already have to buy two years worth of consumables (I worked on our Excel spreadsheet today and it has 181 items.  Seriously every non-perishable (but still natural/non-processed) food item you can think of, every cleaning supply and every bit of toiletries you might need for two years - that's going to cost probably three or four grand - why not add another $600 or $700 of electronic conversion devices on top of it.  We're made of money. 

Anyway,  Lizzie is coming in two days and I can't wait to see her!  Also, she's never been to DC before so we have a ton of really cool things scheduled for her, including a tour of the Capitol (which I've never been inside either), the Archives, the Library of Congress, the Smithsonian, Arlington National Cemetery and much more.  We also have planned a small Thanksgiving dinner for the three of us.  Okay its not really small because not one of us is willing to compromise on our favorite Thanksgiving food, so we are probably going to be eating leftovers until we leave for Abuja since only three of us will be eating turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, corn casserole, green bean casserole, cranberries, pumpkin pie, and cranberry sorbet.  I wish I was exaggerating...

On a funny note, on Saturday while we were in etiquette class Joey volunteered to be the dining guinea pig.  He sat down at the imaginary dinner and our teacher told him to pretend to eat steak "American style."  With a quizzical look (do you know the difference between American and Continental styles of eating), he picked up the fork and knife and attempted to eat his imaginary steak.  Our teacher was horrified.

"No!" She exclaimed.

I thought that at this point in the class it would be hilarious to interject.  "Welcome to my life," I sarcastically said.  This elicited many laughs from the classroom.

Today, one of Joey's friends who also happened to be in our etiquette class told him that when I remarked on Joey's American style eating skills, another woman in the class leaned over to her and asked, "Do you think they have a good marriage?"  Hahahaha! Get a sense of humor.  Either that or if you can't joke about your spouse take a look at your own marriage.

Tidbits

Yesterday on my run around the mall, I ran by several people setting up for a large walk-a-thon to "Help the Homeless." Guess who was the sponsor?  Fannie Mae.  A little ironic, don't you think?  They must be feeling a little guilty about all the people they put out of their homes...

Yesterday Joey and I also bought a car.  We ended up going with a 2004 white, Toyota Sequoia.  While test driving the car, Joey took a wrong turn and we got lost (dealer in tow) in rush hour traffic in Virginia.  About an hour later, the dealer requested we stop the car at the nearest gas station so he could go inside and get his bearings.  At the gas station the dealer got out of the car and Joey and I burst into giggles.  An hour later we were finally back at the dealership and another hour later we had signed the papers.  It was a long night, but now that's one less thing on the to-do list.  Joey is currently on the phone with the bank coordinating everything to take it out of the country - we will never actually take possession of the car in the US.  Someone from State will go to the dealer, pick up the car and drive it to the port.  We'll meet it in Nigeria.
--- We just learned that is false.  I guess we can't have it shipped without the title and it is going to take several weeks to get the title from Virginia.  So now we have to get the car, sell my car (God forbid we juggle two cars in this town again), ship the car as soon as we get the title (to minimize our time in Nigeria without a car), and then figure out how to get the dogs and ourselves around town gathering all of our consumables for two years without a car.  UGH. Why does everything have to be so difficult?  Such a process?!  Can't one thing go smoothly?  Once?  Stupid freaking cars. 

Today we attended a diplomatic protocol and etiquette class.  It was really interesting and at times, entertaining.  Our etiquette instructor was a petite, Latin version of Miss Manners and she was quite appalled with everyone's faux pas. But we did glean quite a bit of useful information today, like how to seat a dinner party, the difference between Continental and American styles of handling your silverware, and how to make introductions.  Our instructor traveled with her husband, who was in the foreign service, for 28 years, and she had quite a few stories to tell.  My favorite was how three or four times a week her husband's secretary would call her and say "your husband is bringing home six guests for lunch."  And she would prepare a three course meal.  Except for the one time that she cooked a chicken and her husband whispered to her as her guests arrived that 6 of the 8 were vegetarian.  She said she wanted to ring his neck right there. Hello?!  What is wrong with this picture?!  You got mad because you cooked a chicken and your husband didn't tell you your guests were vegetarian?  I'm sorry but if Joey had his secretary call me to tell me that he was bringing home six guests for lunch I would tell his secretary to tell him to jump off a cliff.  (Actually I'm pretty sure a certain four letter word would be used instead).  I don't give a damn whether your guests eat meat or beans or freaking pistachios because they aren't coming to my house for lunch on two hour's notice.  Ha!  Can you imagine?!

They gave us a little card when we left.  It read:

When you take your seat

Or excuse yourself at Thanksgiving Dinner

Remember to:

Enter and Exit your chair from the Right.

Leave your napkin on your chair if

You are returning for Seconds.

Pass the Turkey Platter to the Right.

Your dinner roll is to your Left.

And

If someone tries to beat you to the 

Last piece of Pumpkin Pie,

It's a JAB with the LEFT,

and HOOK with the RIGHT.

Happy Thanksgiving

People Don't Kill People, Guns Kill People

Joey, six other friends and I went to the NRA shooting range at the NRA Headquarters in Virginia last night.  The first thing I noticed when we pulled into the parking garage was the three burly soldiers leaving the range with their steel gun cases in tow.  As we made our way down the ramp, we spotted a "PHOTOGRAPHY IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED" sign, much to the chagrin of George and me, as we both really wanted our picture taken shooting the gun.  This was quickly forgotten as soon as the door opened and you could hear it.  I think Sujata put it best: "I thought they had raquetball courts here too until I realized those were guns firing."  Even behind the glass the sound of guns was so loud!  I winced every time one went off, and with 12 lanes of people firing guns, that was a lot.

We were greeted by two men with handlebar mustaches and shaved heads and one petite, twenty-something girl, all in their red "NRA Shooting Range" polos.  She gave us a safety test and ushered us off into a classroom; she told us "cheating is encouraged, because we want you to know the answers."  Twenty-five questions later, we were back at the desk.  While one of the handlebars checked us into two lanes, the girl made us NRA shooting range identification cards.  Then half of the group went to the waiting room, and I put on my headphones and goggles and headed into the range with Joey and Lee.

Lee was in the Navy, so he has some serious experience with shooting, and was nice enough to let us use his guns - a 9mm and a glock? - 42 caliber pistol maybe?  Anyway, Lee got us set up in the lane with the guns and the ammnuition and then left Joey to instruct me on the art of shooting.  The night before, all of us gathered at our friend Tom's house.  Lee brought his guns to Tom's house for an instructional session on how to safely use them.  So we'd practiced picking up the gun safely, not ever pointing it at anyone, even if its unloaded, putting the magazine in the gun, checking the chamber, etc.  Handling an unloaded gun is kind of cool.  Its like, wow, this is a gun.  This could kill someone.  But its still abstract when there are no bullets and when you are not surrounded by the sound of gunfire.

And oh my God, the sound of gunfire - I thought it was loud on the other side of the glass.  Once we entered the actual range - I don't even know how to adequately explain it.  It was like gunfire - everywhere - and every gun sounded like a canon - and the headphones made every other sound so muffled that it was like listening to people talk underwater, peppered every few seconds with a blast.  My earlier wincing turned into jumping and I can't even imagine what I must have looked like, dressed in my multi-color minidress, black cardigan, black tights and ballet flats, wearing bright blue headphones and safety goggles, cowering over my purse and jerking every time a gun went off.  Thankfully, I believe every man in there was completely engrossed in his gun(s), so no one was looking at me.

So once Joey put the magazine in the gun and handed it to me, I started sweating.  No longer was killing some abstract concept associated with the gun.  The reverberations of the guns firing so close on either side, coupled with the empty casings flying everywhere, and the weight of a loaded gun in my hand were a very stark reminder of just what deadly power I was holding and I did not like it.  First of all, I am clumsy as all hell and just the idea that if I accidentally dropped this thing it could kill me or Joey or some other unsuspecting fool was really overwhelming.  Then, when you are so close to all these other people firing their guns you can see the kickback from the gun when you shoot it.  I was so nervous that when I fired the gun I wouldn't be able to control the kickback and it would fly out of my hands and the gun would fire at me instead of down the lane.  (Nevermind that once I fired the gun the bullet would be long gone, even I did drop the damn thing, but when you've got gunfire all around you and this heavy killing machine in your hand rational thoughts aren't really available.)  Anyway, Joey patiently showed me again how to hold it and how to fire it and helped me get it in my hand right and so I aimed it at the target and thought "well, its now or never, you can stand here all night pointing the damn gun" so I fired it.

OHMYGODITWASSOSCARY!  The recoil from the gun is even worse than it looks and I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest.  That thing is heavy and when it fires it really moves your whole upper body!  Also, I had one of my thumbs on the wrong side and the chamber hit it when it fired and that freaking hurt (didn't draw any blood unlike when Tom made the same mistake later).  So Joey helped me move my hand and one of the mustached guys came over and told me to really get a grip on the gun with my whole palm and so a little shaken but determined I firmly grasped the gun and fired again.

OHMYGODITWASSOSCARY!  Really not any better this time.  In fact I am pretty sure I hated it even more.  But I thought, "okay, maybe you just have to get used to this" and so, sweating through my cashmere cardigan, I shot one more time.  Same.  I put the gun down, looked at Joey and said "Okay, I'm done."

He looked at me, a little surprised and said "That's all?"

"Yes, I'm done."  So he picked up the gun and fired the rest of the magazine into the target, pulled the target toward us, handed it to me, and off I went into the waiting room to send another of our friends into the range for their turn.  My head was buzzing as I settled into one of the leather chairs and waited for everybody to take their turn.  After about an hour, somehow I got talked into trying it one more time (I think it was after watching Sujata march out there and shoot three freaking bullets right into the heart of the target her first time out that I was like, okay, Melissa, man up, go try again).  So I put my headphones and goggles back on and luckily this time there were less people in the range.  Only three other lanes were in use besides our two, so instead of twelve different guns firing at once, there were only five.  Joey quickly showed me how to hold the gun again and I pointed and fired and

OHMYGODITWASSOSCARY!  Seriously, I really don't know any other way to describe how freaking terrifying shooting that gun was.  I really thought that my second time in, after watching everybody else do it and survive, that it would be better but no, I'm pretty sure it was worse.  Joey looked at me and said "Calm down" but I really couldn't.  I fired three more times, each time completely terrified that the recoil was going to throw the gun out of my hands and then I put the gun down again.  The overwhelming knowledge that this weapon is deadly was just too much for me to handle in good conscience.  Joey told me later that everytime I picked up the gun my whole body started shaking.  I thought that was just on the inside!  So again, Joey finished the magazine, I took my target and went back to the waiting room and filed my nails until everyone was finished. 

While I watched everybody take their turn shooting the guns, I couldn't help but notice how out of place all of us yuppies looked.  One man to the right of our lane was dressed in a camel colored tee, white-washed jeans and hiking boots- he had a big gun in a holster on one hip and a little gun in a holster on the other hip and in between shooting those guns he shot his giant, laser-guided, M-14 air-rifle.  That puppy was LOUD.  Seriously every time he fired that it shook the room a little bit.  He was in there the whole time we cycled through and he shot from his feet, from a chair, laying down on the ground.  Intense.  And creepy.

A few lanes down from that guy was group of rednecks, outfitted in straggly long hair, tank tops, ripped jeans, flannel and trucker hats.  They took turns firing off their guns at paper plates (targets cost 50 cents each) about ten feet from their face.

Next to them was the most intense dude in the place.  He was wearing khaki cargo pants, a short sleeved khaki oxford, a khaki utility belt and military boots.  He had a shaved head and carried several guns, including one in a massive case.  He would get into a stance, quickly grab a gun from his holster, fire it a few times, grab another magazine from his utility belt, fire the gun a few more times, grab another magazine and fire the gun again.  He'd look over both shoulders and then fire and it was seriously like he was doing drills of some sort the whole time.  I'm pretty sure the emblem on his giant rifle case was Marines, and he definitely looked like a mercenary.

My target - most of those bullet holes were made by Joey.

Suffice it to say (8000 words later), while the NRA range was an exper- ience I will never forget, I don't think I ever want to go there again.

Today is a beautiful day!  Monday and Tuesday were really rainy and dreary here and this morning the sun is shining.  Today is also great because I don't have to haul anybody anywhere or sit in traffic for hours on end.  Last Tuesday I had to ride with Joey to work to get my first rabies shot and then sit in traffic for an hour on the way home.  Then last Wednesday George and I dropped Joey off at work and then went to the vet and then sat in traffic for an hour on the way home.  Thursday we had a mini-reprieve with our day trip to Annapolis but then Friday I had to fight traffic to drop the car off at the shop (stupid convertible top broken again) and then wait for an hour to catch the shuttle to the metro stop which is another half hour from my house.  Then Friday afternoon I had to take the metro to the shuttle pick-up, wait 45 minutes for that and then fight traffic on the way home from the dealership.  Monday Max went to the vet so we dropped Joey off at work and then fought traffic for an hour on the way home from his appointment.  Yesterday I had to go with Joey to get my second rabies shot, but first we had to pick up our friend James since his car was in the shop, which took an extra 45 minutes, then fight traffic for an hour on the way home, pick up Moe and immediately turn back around to take him for his rabies shot, which meant another half hour on the way there and half hour on the way back (traffic had thankfully dissipated by 11 am).  So today, when Joey's left for work alone it was wonderful!  I curled up with George and Moe under my warm covers and went back to sleep.

Tonight is the first send-off happy hour.  Our friend, Sujata, leaves Monday for post!  Even though she is the first to leave, none of us feel too badly for her, as she is headed to Paris.  And you should see the pictures of her 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom, gorgeous apartment with marble and crown-molding right smack dab between the Eiffel Tower and the Champs-Elysees.   I think that her rent is something like $5000 a month (not that she has to pay it, but that gives you an idea of how fabulous her new place is).  After the happy hour we are gathering at our friend Tom's house to learn how to shoot guns because tomorrow we're all going to the shooting range, which should really be an experience.  Especially since only two out of the eight of us has ever even touched a gun before (that would be Joey and Lee, who was in the Navy).  Stories to come...

Pics

Picasa is frustrating me.  I don't know how to get it to do what I want it to.  But if you click on the picture, it'll take you to my web album of all the pictures I took the other day at Dumbarton Oaks Park.  Its just of leaves -
but they were incredible.
  

We are moving to Malibu!

The Malibu housing complex in Abuja, that is.  Pictures to come.

On the balcony of the Newseum

We had a great time this last weekend with Mallory and Steve - I think the highlight was our use of the Capital Bike Share program - we biked all around the city - from the Eastern Market past the Supreme Court and Capitol to the Newseum to the White House to the Washington Monument to the Jefferson Memorial to the Lincoln Memorial  - we saw a ton and it was a lot of fun too!  Plus I know Mallory and Steve wanted to see my mad skills on the segway but I'm pretty sure my graceful way of riding a bike sufficed.

At Arlington National Cemetery

Mal and me at The Gibson for drinks Sunday night

So much going on right now!  We have a little over a month left in town and it already feels like we are running out of time!  Busy busy busy!  Fun things to look forward to:

1. Lizz is coming for Thanksgiving!

2. Just bought tickets to the Joffrey Ballet's performance of The Nutcracker at the Kennedy Center!

3. Lauren is coming the first weekend in December!

4. A tentative trip to New York City with some friends, including a possible visit to our friend Tom's family home, which given his fabulous New-Yorker accent and attitude should be an experience in and of itself.

5. Bought my ticket home for Christmas!  Flying home the 17th so I imagine that by the time the 26th rolls around my family and I will be ready for me to move to Nigeria.

Not so fun things to look forward to:

1. Rabies #s 2 and 3, Meningitis, and Polio vaccinations (Last Tuesday I got Yellow Fever and this Tuesday I got Rabies #1).  I did get Polio as a child, but since Nigeria is like one of two countries where Polio is rampant I have to get a booster.  And while I got the Meningitis vaccine before college, it only lasts for 4 years so I have to get another.  And this doesn't count the Typhoid pills that I have to take next week (apparently they make you sick as a dog but are worth trying to get through because they last for five years and the shot is only good for two), or the Malaria pills that Joey and I will have to take every week in Nigeria.

2.  Multiple vet visits wit the dogs.  George got his new Rabies vaccination Wednesday, Max gets his Monday and Moe gets his Tuesday.  Each dog also has to be seen in December too, 48 hours prior to our departure.  Not sure how that's going to work, what with Joey and me both returning from Des Moines the 26th, packing out the 27th and flying the 28th, and we probably won't even have a car then - but we'll figure it out. 

3. Spending money like its going out of style.  Oh my God, seriously.  We had dinner on Tuesday night with John and his wife, who just returned from Abuja.  John was the GSO there and now they are moving to Colombia (their first choice).  John told us we will save a ton of money living in Abuja (they saved enough for their son's college in two years), but we have to plan it right because everything there is so expensive.  This means we have to buy every consumable we think we will use for the next two years now and the government will ship it over for us.  So huge outlay of cash now (think all the shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, paper towels, toilet paper, cleaning products, beer, dog food, the list goes on forever, that you use in two years), but that is basically all there is to spend your money on in Abuja.  Not many restaurants, not much shopp
ing, so I guess it is what it is.  Not to mention that we had to buy the dogs new kennels (airline approved for each of them) and the new car (because my Eos just isn't going to cut it in Nigeria) and about a million other things...

Anyway, back to our dinner the other night with the couple that just got back from Abuja - they said they really liked it there.  That they knew the guy who wrote all the nasty post reports and that he went in with a bad attitude and really didn't make friends.  They said they had a great experience and that sometimes they actually miss it.  So that was very reassuring!  They also offered answers to our million questions, which was so helpful. 

Since Joey got yesterday off for Veteran's Day (got to love working for the government), we decided to take a day trip to Annapolis.  The weather was crisp and sunny and the trees were in their full fall splendor - bright, candy apple red, burgundy, pumpkin orange and warm gold, yellow mixed in with pine trees - it was just gorgeous.  We wandered around town all day, explored the Naval Academy, and even met some of our friends for a lunch of fresh blue crabs.  All in all I would say it was a perfect day.  Thanks to all you Veterans, especially you, Papa, for your sacrifice so that we all can enjoy days like that.

The darling row of Captains' houses at the Naval Academy

Joey and his crabs at lunch

The Fleet Reserve put on a little ceremony yesterday at 11 AM (the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month) for Veteran's Day.  I didn't realize it when I took this picture but that poor Marine marched around a whole traffic circle with his face accidentally enshrouded in the flag.  A testament to his marching skills I suppose.

I Love You Guys!

I'm getting really excited - Mallory and Steve are going to be here in a couple hours!  I can't wait to show them where we've been living the last few months and the town that is starting to feel more and more like home.  Even Joey said last night that DC is finally starting to grow on him (our friend James has been driving him to work this week so Joey's road rage toward DC must be dissipating).  I have a fabulous itinerary planned for the four of us, involving some shopping, sightseeing, and most importantly, eating.  Tonight Joey, Steve and I are headed to Zula, an Eritrean restaurant, for dinner.  I know my earlier comments about Ethiopian food were not exactly brimming with compliments, but our African dinner with Joey's classmates was really tasty so I'm looking forward to dinner tonight.  Hopefully Steve will like it - if not, the dining experience is worth it and we'll be eating every few hours so he won't go hungry!  After dinner, Joey and Steve will hit up some brew pubs while I drive to Baltimore to pick Mal up and then its off to the only Buddah Bar in the US.  They serve dinner until 1am which is perfect since Mallory's flight doesn't land until 11:16!  Then tomorrow its even more eating, as we head to the Eastern Market for some blueberry/buckwheat pancakes, Five Guys Burgers and Fries for lunch and a fabulous foodie dinner at Oya.  Sunday morning have reservations at Masa 14 for all-you-can-eat-and-drink brunch, then its pizza for lunch in Georgetown and to the Mexican "Oyamel," one of celebrity chef Jose Andres' restaurants, for dinner.  YUUUM-MY!  As such, I decided last night that my post-marathon rest was over and went for a run (otherwise the fit of my clothes could quickly become an issue).  Just an easy 3 miler but man it felt great to be back pounding the pavement.  (The consumption of 4 chocolate chip cookies yesterday may have also been a factor - I made a whole batch for Joey's birthday from scratch and they were way too good).

In addition to the food mentioned above, thanks to my mom and dad, Joey and I now have 9 lbs of ice cream to eat.  Not that this is a bad thing.  The flavors range from The Buckeye State (dark chocolate peanut butter) to Praline to Lemon -yum.  Mom, I have to admit, Joey loved his birthday present but I think he was even more excited about the dry ice that came in the packaging.  He stood over the sink for an hour yesterday playing with the it.

"What? This part of my gift!"

This weekend is the start of all of the fun visits we have planned.  A couple more weeks and Lizzie will be here and then the week after that Lauren is coming and then Bill!  I am so thankful that my sisters and friends could find time in their busy schedules to come visit us before we leave the country for two years!  My family's (this includes our friends) support has been so important to Joey and me through this process and even though goodbyes at Christmas are going to be hard and I'm going to miss you all like crazy in Nigeria, I know that distance and time are pretty irrelevant when it comes to the tight bond that we have.  We'll make it work.

Rant

Our neighbors are freaking annoying.  Right now the guy above us is having a party and everyone up there is stomping around like freaking elephants.  I am about a minute away from going over to the buzzer outside and just holding it down.

The people below us do not like our dogs.  Twice now we have received notes about the dogs barking but guess what?  They forgot that thin walls work both ways.  Last Friday while laying in bed, Joey and I were treated to the sounds of their half-hour sex session, including moans, groans and several "Oh my Gods!"  Not to mention that she is ugly so that really makes for a nice image in my head.

As much as I am not exactly excited to go to Nigeria, I am so excited to move out of this loud, unfriendly, dirty, cramped rowhouse!  At least in Nigeria we will have a big house with no shared walls and nice neighbors!

Marathon Woman

Side note: I wrote this post yesterday; however, I didn't want to post it until I uploaded my pictures.  Yesterday I was too lazy to get up to get my camera from the other room, which is why I'm posting this today.

If you look just below the T in "START" you'll see a lady in red on the platform.  That was Vice President Joe Biden's wife, Jill, who announced the start.

I am writing from my bed.  You know that phrase, "I feel like I ran a marathon yesterday?" Well, I did.  And I am hurting.  Laying down is good - until I need to switch positions - bending my legs hurts like hell.  Standing up is okay and sitting isn't too bad either its just the transition that sucks - a lot.   I look like an old lady, slowly bending my knees and wincing as I try to position myself.   Now imagine me at Mass last night at 7:30 - stand up, sit down, kneel - ow ow ow!!! 

The many, many runners waiting to start.  I crossed the starting line almost a full five minutes after the canons marked the official start of the race.

Yesterday's weather was absolutely perfect for running.  Not much of a breeze, a crisp 40 degrees, sunny.  One mile in and I was perfectly comfortable in my capris and short-sleeve "technical" tee.  The course was packed!  30,000 people ran the Marine Corps Marathon yesterday and it was pretty hard to maneuver.  At some points it got a little frustrating because I wanted to run faster and couldn't get around enough people to break away.  I had a fabulous run until about mile 22.  At mile 20, I felt great.  I'd maintained less than a 9 minute mile and was easily within reaching my goal of finishing in under four hours.  Somebody had a sign that said "you own this bridge" and I thought hell yes I own this bridge.  I thought only 6 more miles - no big deal - its all mental from here - just keep on going.  Then I crossed the huge highway bridge - and it just felt like it was never ending.  And people started dropping like flies.  Everywhere around me people started walking and I was like, no, I'm good, I'm going to keep on running.  Then around mile 21 fatigue started to set in and mile 22 was straight up tough.  I passed the 23 mile marker and thought "I'm going to throw up."  I kept running and the nausea didn't stop and so I gave in and walked for about 2 minutes.  I walked to the water station, had a big sip and then started running again - and that's where the pain started.  When I stopped running all that lactic acid caught up to my legs so when I started again it felt like they were on fire.  But I ran anyways.  For about a mile.  And then at about 24 I felt like I was going to puke again and had to walk for another few minutes.  I looked at my watch and the four hour mark was starting to creep closer and since the nausea had passed I started running again - holy crap it hurt.  I ran - which felt more like stumbling at a brisk pace - all the way to the finish - at 4:02.  I missed my time by two minutes but God it felt so good to cross the finish line and I honestly almost started crying I was so proud when the Marine put my medal over my head. 

Exceptionally unflattering picture of my hips.  I blame the pants and the photographer (cough, Joey).  But I think this was about mile 17 and I was sick of trying to pull my shirt down over my ass.  Just beyond the trees in this photo is the Washington Monument.

So was it worth it?  Hell yes!  One of the Marines sayings is that "pain is weakness exiting the body."  Another sign I read yesterday that I think sums it up perfectly said "Pain is temporary, pride is forever."  I am officially a marathoner now and I have to admit, I am pretty proud of myself.  Lets be honest here, if I told any of my grade school or high school gym teachers that I was going to run a marathon, they'd never believe it.  I mean, I really am not that coordinated.  But for some reason, running works and although I won't be going for a run for the next few days, I can't wait for my next marathon.

Sunday was also Halloween - so quite a few runners dressed up.  Now the question is whether the devil chose his costume before or after he was assigned his 666 bib  number.

Thank you again to everyone who donated to St. Jude's to help me run my marathon.  My four hours of exertion yesterday definitely doesn't even compare to the months and years of treatment that St. Jude's patients have to endure.  I also have to say there is no way I could have done this without my amazingly supportive husband.  In addition to all my long runs where he rode his bike behind me, Joey woke up with me at 5:30 am yesterday, rode the Metro with me to the Pentagon, walked the mile to the start line with me and even waited in line with me for 20 minutes for the porta-potty.  Then he trekked all across town to cheer me on at as many points along the course as he could.  After the race he helped me waddle back home and even went to buy me some Epson salts for my bath. 

Nothing like waiting in line for a porta-potty before dawn

So where's the next one?  Probably in Africa!  We had a few of Joey's classmates over for dinner Thursday and two of them had run marathons - one in Ghana and another in Istanbul - so its possible!

Bib	FName	LName			Div	Age	Sex
10844	MELISSA	SODA			FEMALES 25-29	26	F

ChipTime	ClockTime	Overall	SexPl	DivPl	AgeGrade
4:02:37	4:07:30	4981	1193	319	55.8%

Ctz

5K

10K

15K

20K

Half

25K

30K

35K

40K

Pace

Pics from lately

This was taken by our friend James the day after Flag Day. 

We spent Columbus Day at Mount Vernon

The back of Mount Vernon - facing the Potomac - despite all the people it was exceptionally peaceful there.

Also at Mount Vernon

The next day we caught a glimpse of our current president.

At Coco Sala, a chocolate boutique and restaurant.  My champagne flight is in the foreground - Joey's scotch flight is in the background.  We went for their three-course "dessert experience."  Talk about fat girl heaven.

Julia Child's kitchen at the Smithsonian American History Museum

At the National Building Museum - they were setting up for a benefit dinner.

Okay seriously, this is just not right - I can't decide who is more fearless - the squirrel for getting so close to a human or Joey for getting so close to a squirrel - ew!

Since we went to Mount Vernon last weekend I thought it only fair that we visited Monticello this weekend.  I didn't realize that it was a 2 1/2 hour drive...oops.

A giant bumble bee at Monticello

The view at Monticello - wow