merry christmas?

I didn't feel like writing much about Christmas before this happened.

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/12/25/world/africa/nigeria-church-bombing/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

Anyway, we as safe as can be reasonably expected.  Just want to thank my good old husband's employers for recognizing the danger here.  Oh wait... I hope you're enjoying a safe and happy Christmas with your family back in Washington.  We'll hold down the fort until you figure it out.

cape winelands

On Saturday we explored the Cape Winelands.  We tasted fresh-roasted coffee and chocolate truffles and homemade cheese while we drank our way through Sommerset West, Stellenbosch, Franschoek and back.  The wine and the weather and the views of the mountains and valleys and vineyards made for an incredible day, even if I didn't realize that in an olive oil tasting you actually sip it (I don't care how tacky it is, next time I'm asking for bread).

That night we had dinner reservations at La Colombe (French, not Spanish, pronunciation), ranked #12 on the 2010 San Pellegrino list of best restaurants in the world.  Our reservations were for 8:00, and GoogleMaps quoted the trip to the restaurant from the hotel at half an hour.  We left at 7:00, figuring we'd get a drink at the bar before our meal.

And GoogleMaps wins again.  I swear to God they write directions just to mess with people.  We got so freaking lost.  While much of Cape Town is fabulous, there are parts of town one shouldn't visit, and I'm pretty sure we found those parts.  So of course I freaked out on Joey because he wasn't freaking out.  An hour later, barely speaking to each other, we found a gas station that seemed safe and went inside for directions.

We got back on track and made it to Constantia, the town of the winery/restaurant, and got lost again.  We drove around and around and around, literally in circles through the same strip mall complex parking lot, until we could finally get a hold of the restaurant (via our hotel, who was incredibly helpful during this ordeal.  Truly, if you visit Cape Town, I'd highly recommend Villa Zest), who finally directed us to our seat by the fireplace at the romantic, French-country themed restaurant.

After a glass of sparkling wine, Joey and I were back on speaking terms.  We splurged on the six-course tasting menu with wine pairings, and because I saw the tray of goodies served to the table next of us, we ordered espresso for the sole purpose of tasting the petits fours.  Everything was divine.  Truly one of the best meals I've ever eaten.



L'amuse bouche: I don't remember what was on either side, but the middle was a Tom Ka Gai shooter out of an egg and it was ah. may. zing.



First Course: Alaskan king crab, yuzu dressing, miso orange crema dusted with a coriander and black forest ham crumble, daikon mousse and mirin dashy jelly (I stole a menu).  Paired with 2010 Reyneke Sauvingnon Blanc.



Second Course: Pan fried foie gras, seared quail breast, confit quail leg, rhubarb puree, parsnip crisps, quail and rhubarb jus.  Paired with 2011 Cederberg Bukettraube.




Third Course: Scallops and confit pork belly, smoked parsnip puree, black forest ham veloute, crisp pork crackling, lemon and pea dressing.  Paired with 2010 Sequillo White.




Fourth course: Grannysmith granite, warm Calvados foam.  O. M. G.




Fifth course: Sous vide of veal, warm ballotine of morel mushrooms and sweet breads, steamed langoustine, buttered pomme puree, pea and black forest ham salad, mustard beurre blanc.  Paired with 2006 Vriesenhof Pinotage.



Sixth course: Rose and coconut panna cotta, lime syllabub, cashew pebbles and a basil seed and orange blossom dressing.  Paired with Constantia Uitsig Muscat D'Alexandrie



And of course, the petit fours, from left: coconut marshmallows, chocolate truffles, lemon cookies, meringe and rose Turkish delight. 

 Don't worry - we got directions from the waiter for the drive back.

cape town continued

Friday morning I woke up early to catch a hot yoga class.  The cab I’d arranged the night before with the hotel was waiting for me at 6:30, so I figured I’d have plenty of time to make it to the 7:00 am class.  By 6:40, the cab had pulled up to the address I gave him, somewhere in the middle of downtown Cape Town, so I still had 20 minutes to find the studio and get situated before class.  Good thing.

The studio’s website said to look for the blue flags of the Pick’n’Pay (a supermarket).  Then it said the studio is on the tenth floor.  I find the Pick’n’Pay, which was actually in sort of an office/retail complex much like the Kaliedescope in Des Moines or the post office in the basement of K&9^th in NW DC.  I find the building directory and floor plan.  Not only is there no mention of a yoga studio, the floor plan only shows a two story building.  Flummoxed, I wander back out to the busy street and over to the little convenience store next door, where I ask the squat, older, male attendant (who clearly does not practice yoga) if he could direct me to the yoga studio.  Predictably, the only thing he directs my way is a blank stare. 

So I walk down to the corner, scanning up and down all of the tall buildings around me for a sign that might even suggest yoga.  Completely unsuccessful, I make my way back to the Pick’N’Pay, where I spy two people who are totally yogis if I’ve ever seen one.  And follow them.  Right into the supermarket.  Into the line for fresh bread.

Shit.

Stealthily, I act as though I’m meandering around the grocery store, nonchalantly buying a water to pretend as if it was completely my original intention.  I almost lose the yogis while fumbling through my wallet for correct change (damn those small dollar coins!), but out of the corner of my eye I spot them head down an escalator.

I dart to the escalator, too late to see where the original yogis went, but in time to catch another girl walking by in tight black pants and a head band.  She is clearly headed to yoga too.  She strides past the bottom of the escalator to into elevator on the right.

Once in the mysterious, hidden elevator, I easily found the button for the tenth floor and from there, the yoga studio too.  It felt great to sweat out all the martinis I’d had the night before, even if the two girls in front of me were way more flexible than me and that always pisses me off (I know that makes me a bad yogi). 

After class I woke Joey up and we hit the road, driving all along the coast of the Indian Ocean with our jaws dropped the entire way.  Let's put it this way: the landscape was so gorgeous that Joey was even willing to pull the car over - several times - so I could get out to take pictures.  

Our first stop along the drive was Boulder Beach, home to a colony of penguins!  Real penguins!  In the wild!  Well, technically it was a national park, but that counts.  

After we left Boulder Beach, we started to notice road signs, like the ones you’d see in Iowa for deer, but for baboons instead.

Still elated from seeing penguins waddle on the beach, I couldn’t hope to actually see a baboon.  And then there it was – a baboon!  He was just hanging out along the highway with his three friends, no big deal.  

A ranger flagged us down; she and her partner were trying to make sure people didn't feed the baboons, because apparently they can be quite violent when they see food.   In fact, if a baboon sees food in your car, it will open an unlocked car door, and take you down for your sandwich.  Kind of like Joey when you won't let him eat his burger because you want to take a picture of it first.

 

And people say we didn't evolve from primates...



We reached the Cape of Good Hope Nature Reserve, from where we continued our drive to Cape Point and I continued my South African photo shoot.  As if wild penguins and baboons weren't cool enough in one day, soon we came across a family of ostriches!  They walked so close to our car window we could have touched them; Joey exclaimed, "I feel like I'm in Jurassic Park right now!"

Cape Point isn't the southernmost tip in Africa, but it's pretty close.  We trekked up the daunting stone staircase to the lighthouse (because what would a vacation be without at least a little "death march") and then took the funicular on the way down because I was sweating in my cute pink loafers.  

 

At the lighthouse summit almost at the southern-most tip of Africa.



As we slowly drove back from Cape Point to the entrance of the nature reserve, I noticed an animal in the distance.  "Stop the car.  There is a ______ zebra."

Joey looked at me skeptically.

"Stop!  Stop!  There's a _______ __________ zebra!"  (At least I'm only sort of turning into my mother.  She would have said, "DEER!  DEER!  DEER!"  I'm keeping it real with my sailor mouth.  That part I get from my dad's side.)

Sure enough, in the distance we spotted (or should I say striped) three zebras.  Just grazing.  How cool is that?

We drove back up the Atlantic side of the cape along Chapman’s Peak Drive, a winding trail built into the side of the cliffs.  The view over Hout Bay was truly breathtaking. 

We decided on a late lunch of fresh fish and chips at a local fish shack in Hout Bay.  The chips were a little soggy but the fish was perfectly crisp.  We followed it with a beer and some calamari on the deck of a restaurant overlooking the wharf and watched seals and seagulls and fisherman brave the freezing cold temperatures repeatedly to lug in huge nets of squirming fish.

We made it back to Cape Town just before sunset for a nap and a shower, followed by dinner at an amazing steak restaurant, aptly named Carne.  Still tired from our long haul from Abuja, we decided to skip the tempting nightlife on Long St. and turn in early to make the most of the rest of our trip.

our thanksgiving in cape town

I've been trying to come up with a creative way to introduce our trip to Cape Town, but to call it beautiful, incredible and refreshing sounds redundant after all my other posts about all the amazing places we've been lucky enough to visit this year.  Nonetheless, it was all of the above and more.  Cape Town is the confluence of mountains, white sand beaches and sparkling turquoise oceans (the Atlantic and the Indian), exotic wild animals and completely reliable infrastructure, not to mention world-class shopping and dining.  Oh and hundreds of incredible vineyards are only 20 minutes away.  It's like all the great things about California without the Californians.  And thanks to the exchange rate, everything is on sale.  Joey wants to move there.  I'd happily live in Cape Town if my family wasn't so far away or if we could convince them to move with us.  Anybody?  Take a look at my photos and get back to me...

Getting to Cape Town was no easy feat.  We'd heard horror stories about our airline (Arik) and transiting through Lagos, both of which we faced.  But to our complete and utter shock, our flights were on time and everything went smoothly.  I guess after all of our other travel woes we'd finally earned enough karma to redeem for a trip.

Smoothly or not, we still had an hour drive to the Abuja airport, an hour wait for the flight, an hour flight between Abuja and Lagos, a five hour layover in the Lagos airport that is not air-conditioned (who needs A/C when it's only 90 degrees outside?), followed by a six hour flight to Johannesburg, and another five hour layover in the Johannesburg airport (I heart Woolworths in the airport) before boarding our final two hour flight to Cape Town.  Yes, we planned another 23 hour trip, and just like the other ones, it was totally worth it.  

After departing the rental car desk, we proceeded to our car.  Anyone who's ever ridden with Joey will attest he is not the best driver (sorry, honey).  So imagine having to get in a car with Joey behind the wheel on the other side of the car.  Terrifying.  Then add in driving on the other side of the road.  And the driver is saying how he's never been so freaked out to drive before and can't figure out where to drive.  Fantastic.

But somehow we made it to the hotel, and I even managed to take a few pictures on the way.  We may have also gotten lost in the meantime, but there was certainly no yelling or parking of the car or freaking out while trying to figure out where in the hell we were because I was convinced we were going to get carjacked.  I will admit to the pit stop at the burger place.  

The massive burgers in our bellies allowed our brains to focus on something other than food (and the beer may have chilled our sleep-deprived selves out), and we found the hotel.  I took a shower and unpacked while Joey took a nap, and then we were off to explore the V&A Waterfront along the Atlantic.

Our room was called "American Graffiti" at Villa Zest

We wandered past the shops and restaurants, and even into a mall (you can go ahead and cue Handel's Messiah here).  We drank cappuccino and tap beer and ate warm goat cheese while enjoying the crisp air of the South African summer evening.  

Wishing his family happy Thanksgiving.

We compensated for missing Thanksgiving at home by celebrating our first Thanksgiving as just the two of us at the chichi chain, Nobu (remember what I was telling you about everything on sale?  Even Nobu is (barely) affordable with the South African rand at 8.5 to the dollar).  We decided to order our own tasting menu, including copious amounts of sushi and Wagyu beef, ordering so much the waitress came back half-way through to see if we still wanted the rest of the food.  We, the perpetual fat kids on vacation, didn't.  It was. That. Much food.  A true Thanksgiving dinner indeed.

Pork belly and such.  Nom nom nom.

how best buy tried to screw me and funny emails from frank

As you may be aware, I ruined my camera on our trip to Ghana.  Actually, the rain ruined my camera, but I probably should have known better than to take a camera in a rain forest and expect it to stay dry.  Since my blond roots tend to show more often than not, I always buy the warranty.  If it's a high-ticket item, chances are I'm going to drop it, lose it, break it or get it wet (like the time I bent the setting on my wedding ring by 90 degrees when I fell into the sump pump hole in our basement).  As such, when I originally bought the G10 back in 2009, I also bought the warranty.


This proved a smart decision in the summer of 2010 when the G10 just stopped working (I swear).  I took the camera and the warranty into Best Buy and after about a month of wrangling back and forth, they replaced it with a brand-new G11.  Best Buy's replacement of the G10 with the G11 constituted fulfillment of the original warranty, so I purchased a new warranty for the G11.


So when we got back from Ghana, I mailed the G11 (minus the battery, lest the pouch reject it), the warranty, the receipt and detailed instructions (including an explanation for the Geek Squad as to why the battery was missing) to my always-willing-to-help dad.  I asked him to please take it to Best Buy right away because I was afraid they would take longer with the holiday rush and I needed a solution no later than January when we meet in Italy (so he could bring the battery).  Three weeks later, my dad sent me this:


Hello Kid,


Just got your camera in the mail today.  I unpacked the box, read the notes, immediately put on my coat and shoes, got in my car, and drove as fast as I could to Best Buy!  (The cop couldn't keep up so I didn't get a ticket)  When I got to the parking lot there was a front row spot just waiting for me!  After making an older woman pee her depends, I jumped out of the car and ran into the store as fast as my new tennis shoes would take me................Just to frigin' wait in line for about a half hour because some couple can't figure out that they can't get cash back without a receipt!  After they finally got done, I go up to the counter only to find out that "ITS A GEEK THING" and I should have been in the line on the other side of the circular barrier!  I go around and after another fifteen or twenty minutes they told me there was no battery in the camera.  After a few minutes of explanation they finally said it would be no later than Dec. 17th for an answer whether they would junk it and give you a new one, or repair it.  So now we wait.  I'll let you know as soon as I get the word.   


Anything else I can do, just call someone else!  Just kidding, you know I'm here for you two!!  


Love you guys 
Dad


In the meantime, I decided to buy the T2i, which I also had sent to my dad (again, thanks to the battery).  But, because the price keeps fluctuating so much, I told him not to open the box just in case the price goes down enough for me to exchange it.  Here's his response:


Got it Kid. Won't open till I hear from you. This camera thing is like a game with new moves all the time! Like getting my orders from my secret agent boss!


Smart ass.


So a few days ago, Best Buy called my dad and said they'd made a decision on the camera.  They were going to give me a new one - yay!  But there was a catch:  Best Buy wanted to replace my top-of-the-line, $500 point-and-shoot with a puny, little $199 X230HS.  The geek fed my dad some line about technology getting better and prices dropping and compared it to the cost of LED TVs.  Then the geek straight-up lied and said the X230HS is better than the G12.  For those of you who don't know anything about cameras, this is like trying to replace a Mercedes with a Dodge. 


The geek also offered a $199.99 Best Buy gift card.  Oh woo hoo!  Now I only have to spend $300 more dollars to replace the camera on which I already bought a $70 warranty!


Obviously when my dad relayed this offer, I told him to please share with Best Buy my feelings about it.  Feelings that included my favorite four letters, or as they'd call it here in Nigeria, 419 (fraud).  Dad said he'd take care of it.  Then I got this email:


Subject:  The Camera Saga Concluded


OK Kid,


After a short demonstration of Consumer Reports magazine and a full presentation of documents from all the online services Mom could find.....................you now have a BRAND NEW CANON G12 CAMERA IN THE BOX!!!!!!!! 


Tell me what the hell you want me to do NEXT!!


Love you.

Daddy


Silly Best Buy.  Don't try to scam someone who lives in Nigeria!


P.S.  Don't I have the best dad ever?

it's not you, it's me.

Seriously, would everyone please stop inviting us out?  I know my combination of charm, wit and extensive vocabulary of four-letter words makes me irresistible, but I really just don't want to go to your dinner.  Okay, while I'm honored for the invitation and do realize it's probably not my sparkling personality but that everyone stuck here for the holidays is lonely too, I still don't want to go.  I don't mean to sound stuck-up, but I just don't feel like putting on a bra and makeup to go eat your meal out of a can.  Or to stand around making small talk about the same three topics while drinking the same three beverages available to me at home.  Just because everybody works together does not mean that we all have to be together all the time.  Let's face it:  besides where we live and how much we love it here, we really don't have that much in common.  So thanks, but no thanks.  

Really though, when you live in a fishbowl, how do you draw the line?  In such a small community, is it at all possible to avoid offending your co-workers (who also happen to be your neighbors) because you didn't attend their event?  

 

So maybe it makes me a bitch because I skipped the girl's night and my neighbor's brunch and don't want to share my Christmas dinner with anyone besides my husband.  I won't apologize for choosing to sit at home in my hot pink sweatpants with Joey and the dogs and eat popcorn and chocolate chips by the bag and drink wine by the bottle this holiday season.  I prefer to think of myself as an introvert who misses her family and friends and snow and America and just doesn't feel like putting on a brave face to go shoot the shit with people she barely knows on Christmas.  Is that really so bad?

il gatto nuota

Joey and I decided we're going to learn Italian.  We bought Rosetta Stone at least four years ago (before the wedding) and figured since we are headed back to Italy next month for the third time since our wedding, now'd be a good time to open the software.  Especially since it cost as much as three months of malaria medication.  I digress...

Maybe I'm just special, but I really hate the voice recognition software.  If it tells me I'm not pronouncing "no" or "e" one more time, I might have to throw the headphones against the computer screen (again).  Maybe that's why they're not working...